Post by michael on Nov 24, 2005 21:15:46 GMT -5
This was sent to me by John Mason, one of my Guitarmageddon compatriots. John actually won in Cleveland!
You might be too old to gig if...
>-- Before each gig, you find yourself warming up more parts of your body.
>-- It becomes more important to find a place onstage for your box fan than your amp.
>-- During the second set, you scream for the drummer to please stop hitting those annoying cymbals.
>-- You refuse to play out of tune.
>-- Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round a golf.
>-- Your fans have left by 10:30 p.m.
>-- All you want from groupies is a foot massage.
>-- You love shopping the dollar store because you can sing along to most of your playlist.
>-- You hire band members for their values instead of their talent.
>-- Instead of a fifth piece, your band wants to spring for a roadie with the extra money.
>-- You've lost the directions to the gig.
>-- Prepping for the gig involves plucking hair from your chin or nose.
>-- Most of the hairs you've plucked from your chin or nose are gray.
>-- You need your glasses to see your amp settings.
>-- You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.
>-- You're thrilled to have New Year's Eve off.
>-- The waitress is your daughter.
>-- You stop the set because your bottle of Ibuprofen fell behind the speakers.
>-- Most of your crowd just sways in their seats.
>-- You find your drink tokens from last year's gig in your guitar case.
>-- You no longer use a tip jar.
>-- You refuse to play without earplugs.
>-- You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 p.m. instead of 9:30 p.m.
>-- You want an opening act.
>-- You check the TV schedule before booking a gig.
>-- High notes make you cough.
>-- Your gig stool has a back.
>-- You're related to at least one other member of the band.
>-- You need a nap before the gig.
>-- You don't let anyone "sit in."
>-- After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.
>-- During the breaks, you now go to your van to lay down.
>-- You prefer a music stand with a light.
>-- You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon.
>-- You can't operate without a set list.
>-- You say you double on bass.
>-- You discourage playing longer than contracted.
>-- You have a contract.
>-- You know all the words to "Aqualung."
If you folks can come up with some more of these, just post 'em!
Michael Earhart
You might be too old to gig if...
>-- Before each gig, you find yourself warming up more parts of your body.
>-- It becomes more important to find a place onstage for your box fan than your amp.
>-- During the second set, you scream for the drummer to please stop hitting those annoying cymbals.
>-- You refuse to play out of tune.
>-- Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round a golf.
>-- Your fans have left by 10:30 p.m.
>-- All you want from groupies is a foot massage.
>-- You love shopping the dollar store because you can sing along to most of your playlist.
>-- You hire band members for their values instead of their talent.
>-- Instead of a fifth piece, your band wants to spring for a roadie with the extra money.
>-- You've lost the directions to the gig.
>-- Prepping for the gig involves plucking hair from your chin or nose.
>-- Most of the hairs you've plucked from your chin or nose are gray.
>-- You need your glasses to see your amp settings.
>-- You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.
>-- You're thrilled to have New Year's Eve off.
>-- The waitress is your daughter.
>-- You stop the set because your bottle of Ibuprofen fell behind the speakers.
>-- Most of your crowd just sways in their seats.
>-- You find your drink tokens from last year's gig in your guitar case.
>-- You no longer use a tip jar.
>-- You refuse to play without earplugs.
>-- You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 p.m. instead of 9:30 p.m.
>-- You want an opening act.
>-- You check the TV schedule before booking a gig.
>-- High notes make you cough.
>-- Your gig stool has a back.
>-- You're related to at least one other member of the band.
>-- You need a nap before the gig.
>-- You don't let anyone "sit in."
>-- After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.
>-- During the breaks, you now go to your van to lay down.
>-- You prefer a music stand with a light.
>-- You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon.
>-- You can't operate without a set list.
>-- You say you double on bass.
>-- You discourage playing longer than contracted.
>-- You have a contract.
>-- You know all the words to "Aqualung."
If you folks can come up with some more of these, just post 'em!
Michael Earhart